My pride is my shield, My dreams are my compass, My happiness is my weapon: Making Someone Smile

Friday, October 7, 2011

Making Someone Smile

Author's Note:
This is my best "hook" introduction that I wrote. I am focusing on word choice and voice.

Can saying the word dojo make you smile? Can saying any words make you smile? Try saying a sentence that uses several goofy words and see if they tickle your tongue. For example try to say, shiver me timbers that curious chipmunk stole my Butterfinger, with an English accent. See? Saying funny words can make you smile; it is the best way to you smile

3 comments:

Ellieanna M.October 7, 2011 at 8:17 AM
This made me laugh so hard! Oh Natalie, your so cute :P. Good job, :)))
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Jackson HOctober 7, 2011 at 8:19 AM
Interesting, I can't say I've ever thought about funny words to say. This is original so I'd like to see where you can take this.
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Miss EvansOctober 8, 2011 at 4:56 PM
This has a great start for an essay about the use of voice and word choice. Your examples really draw the reader's attention. Consider, though, how you can turn your topic into a persuasive argument. Imagine that your introduction is shaped like a funnel: Context will be at the top, relevant details will make up the middle, and the bottom will be narrowed into the thesis, which will direct (or "funnel") the reader into the rest of the essay. In future hooks, consider leaving the introduction open-ended, so that your reader is guided into thinking, "tell me more."
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