You now you're in America when...
A single stick of gum
Will get you a thousand friends
When people don't like patience
And never ever bend
When people go online
Just to look up funny cats
When a football's made with leather
And we play with baseball bats
In a race between an ambulance
And pizza delivery truck
The pizza man will win the race
Without any source of luck
When each and every year
We have all sorts of holidays
Where we dress up like little monsters
And wear green for a whole day
When you see fast food at every corner
And everything is made in China
When people still talk Southern
And eat at little dinna's
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