My pride is my shield, My dreams are my compass, My happiness is my weapon: Giraffe

Friday, December 2, 2011

Giraffe

Dear Mr. Giraffe

Please lower your neck

You make me feel short

(I feel like a wreck)

Dear Mr. Giraffe

Please take off your spots

You make me feel dull

(For that I am not)

Dear Mr. Giraffe

Please puff out your cheeks

You make me feel fat

(And a shy and meek)

Dear Mr. Giraffe

Please flex your shoe

Wait you don't have shoes

For that I am a little better than you

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More Quotes

"The ethical man knows to never cheat on his wife, while the man of morals actually wouldn't."

--Ernest Patridge

"When a swimming pool of context turns to be unreliable, you discover reality."

--Mr. Johnson

"Everyone complains about the weather, but no one does anything to change it."

-- Mark Twain

"You can't notice how perfect life is, until you tilt your head back and laugh at the sky."

--Buddha

"Life is like riding a bike. You can't keep balanced unless you keep moving."

--Albert Einstein

"Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."

--Benjamin Franklin

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

--Dr. Seuss

"Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow."

--Helen Keller

"If you do not fail, you can't learn. If no one ever failed our world would be senseless and cold. "

"The human foot is a masterpiece of engineering and a work of art."

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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance."

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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.

If at first you don't succeed failure might just be your style

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

I would never die for my beliefs, what if I'm wrong?

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

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My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.

Never floss with a stranger.

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.